


Begging for love

by soodeliciousoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Begging, Comfort/Angst, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Moving, Moving On, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 07:43:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15505641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soodeliciousoo/pseuds/soodeliciousoo
Summary: Kyungsoo begged for Jongin's love for one last time but Jongin never gave the love he had been asking.Chanyeol helped Kyungsoo to forget Jongin. He would do everything just to erase Jongin in Kyungsoo's memories but Kyungsoo couldn't try his best to forget the man who broke his heart.





	Begging for love

**Author's Note:**

> This is the product of my boredom. Please don't expect too much. This is not edited sorry for my grammar. Will try to edit soon.  
> ENJOY!

"Jongin, please! I am begging you. Don't leave me."  
He promised before that he would never beg and kneel down to someone just to have the love he was asking. But his words betrayed him. Who would have thought that this day would come? The promise he made before just drained up. He just realized that the tremendous power of love could bring to his existence, that he even broke his pledge and promise. Well, when it comes to Jongin he would do everything.  
Desperateness and desolation were ruling his body and mind. In the dark path alley of Gwangjo, Kyungsoo could be seen kneeling, bathing with his own tears. The night was young but the alley was already empty because of the bad weather ruling the whole city. The explosion sounded like bomb invaded the sky.  
The sky started grieving together with him. It felt his pain and the pillow of clouds began to gather above. The sky rumbled and the sprinkling rain touched his skin. The gentle pitter patter continued their round so as his tears. His tears camouflaged with the falling rain. 

"Jongin, I have never failed to give the love and support that you've been asking. Krystal could never love you like I do," Kyungsoo enunciated every word he released. This could be his only chance to feel the heat of Jongin's love again, by begging. There was a small sharp pointed object clinging into his words. Everytime he released it a sudden pain would hit Kyungsoo's chest and another pile of pain had been added.

"No. Kyungsoo, we are over. Is that so hard for you to understand that I don't love you anymore? I-don't-love-you-anymore. Go-away!" Jongin emphasized every letter of the words that were a salt sprinkled to Kyungsoo's wounded heart. 

Kyungsoo put his head between Jongin's knee. He released a sonorous shout. That was the tune of his pain. Thus, Jongin's word was the lyrics and his broken promises were the chords. 

"You said that you love me more than anything else. You said you are the most happiest person in the whole world because you have me," Kyungsoo said between his tears. He could recall the exact same words Jongin had said to him. Who could ever forget those words, together with the shining and glittering sincerity in his eyes?

"I...don't...Maybe I lied…but with Krystal, I feel all the love, hapiness and satisfaction I never found in you," Jongin was stuttering at first. He wasn't sure. He vaguely remembered those words he forgot, planning not to remember it.  
Kyungsoo tried to answer him but weeping sounds of his cry were the only thing that was coming out from his mouth. Jongin tried to stop him. The sound of it was the most unpleasant to hear.  
"Kyungsoo, enough! You can't change my mind, ever."  
Jongin wiggled his legs but Kyungsoo's hands were tightly wrapped around it. If you would observe Jongin's face, it had no sign of remorse or pity. He even managed to threaten Kyungsoo.  
"Stand up or else I will kick you."

Hopelessness embraced him. He stood up slowly and looked at Jongin's eyes straightly.  
"I will still love you, Jongin and I know you weren't lying when you said you are the happiest person because you have me," Kyungsoo uttered. "I felt it, Jongin."  
He lost his balance and a pair of hands grabbed his body before he completely fell to the wet ground. The rain started falling so hard. The rain had became intense. Coldness covered his body and heart, literally and figuratively.  
"Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo." Before he completely close lost his conciousness he heard a voice calling his name twice and a loud sound of punch to a person's skin.  
He was deep bone tired. His eyes retreated as well as his body.  
A pair of hands caught Kyungsoo before he completely fell on to the ground. Chanyeol entered the scene with angry face plastered all over his face. His right hand flew immediately over Jongin's face.  
His nose and lips were hammered into pulp, blood rushing down his nose making him taste his own blood.

 

He had been watching from afar, watching how Kyungsoo burned his pride in front of Jongin. The rain still kept falling so intense. They were soaking in wet and Kyungsoo's were soaking in pain.  
Their voices were unaudible from where he was but he could tell what they were doing. Those actions with desperation through his eyes radiate such tremendous amount of his pain.  
He guided Kyungsoo and put his arms around his neck and his other hand on Kyungsoo's waist until they reached the car and drove all the way to Chanyeol's place.

The peeking ray of sunlight from the semi-open window woke Kyungsoo up. His head was placed in a smooth pillow and his body above the doubled layer bed covered with comfortness and peace. The enticing aroma of coffee coming from the kitchen awakened his senses. A series of flashbacks started hitting his mind. Some were clearly playing on his mind. He roamed his eyes around. The clock hanging on the wall was set on 7:00 am. Later, he realized he was not on his own bed. The smell of it is too manly to be his mine. With the inability to recall how he got there he continued roaming his eyes around.

The door creaked open and Chanyeol entered. He averted his gaze to a newly bathed Chanyeol. Chanyeol was reek of the combination smells of soap and shaving cream.  
" Yeol," he called.  
Another series of flashbacks started to enter his memory. He felt a throbbing pain on his chest. He guessed last night was really the end of everything.  
Kyungsoo was on the verge of crying when Chanyeol came near him and hugged him. The warmth of Chanyeol's hug gave him a little sense of comfort.  
"You have to forget him. The pain he had brought to you was just too much. You really like hurting yourself, because me," Chanyeol advised.  
Chanyeol immediately removed his arms wrapped on Kyungsoo's body. "I can't afford to see you crying. If only I could take away your pain, I would do."

Chanyeol caressed Kyungsoo's face. "I tried. I will try but you know I just love him so much and---."  
Chanyeol cut him off, with an eyebrow flocked together he held Kyungsoo's hands firmly. "You are not trying, Soo. You are still hoping for the love that he refused to give. Can't you see? You even begged and burned down your pride and dignity just to have him back. Respect yourself! That is not love! Learn to love and respect yourself because that is true love, a love that will never dies and betrays you. You should never give up your dignity, for your own destiny," Chanyeol paused for a moment. Kyungsoo was just staring at him blankly trying to digest Chanyeol's words. 

"I will help you to forget him only if you want to go with me," Chanyeol wiped his tears.

"Where?" Kyungsoo asked with curiosity planted on his faced. What Chanyeol up to would not really help him at all, whenever it is he won't go, Kyungsoo thought.

"Los Angeles."

 

"And what should I do there? This is my place. This is where I belong and Jong.. Jongin's here. I'm sorry I can't," he churned his head.

"And for the nth time. It's Jongin again."  
Chanyeol huffed out of frustration. He stood up and set the curtain aside and opened the window. The room was filled with lights coming from the sun. It touched his skin.

"You are asking what you should do there. Well, you need to find the light. You need to find yourself and live under the sunshine because that you have missed your entire life. You have been living under Jongin's existence."

"Jongin is just confused," Kyungsoo believed.

"Why can't you just-." Chanyeol refused to hear any of Kyungsoo's old same reason. He didn't want to see his friend living a miserable life anymore because of Jongin. It's too much torture for him and for Kyungsoo. Just a little more realizations and truth would wake Kyungsoo up.  
"Stop. I know it's Jongin again. Do you want me to elaborate all the pain and sorrow that Jongin brought to your life?" Chanyeol distressed.

Kyungsoo was whimpering. Chanyeol kept on adding salt to his wounded heart and he couldn't take it.  
Chanyeol stared at the crying man in front of him. He assured to himself that this would be the last time seeing Kyungsoo crying because of Jongin.

"Kyungsoo, listen. First, you gave up your dreams just to be with him. You had received a lot of offers abroad but you declined them because you can't afford to think that you would be living away from him. And now look at you. You lost your dream and lost pride and dignity. Second---."

"Chanyeol, stop," Kyungsoo was weeping, raising his hand above the air telling chanyeol to stop. "I'm coming with you."

Chanyeol went back to Kyungsoo's side and hugged him. "Trust me. It's for your own good."

"Y..yeol." Kyungsoo cleared his throat. "For the last time tell me that Jongin does not love me anymore?" He wanted to taste the bitterness of truth. If the answer would be no, he would surely go and leave.

Without any hesitation Chanyeol answered him. "No, not anymore. He loves Krystal. He doesn't love you and will not love you again."

 

 

* * *

 

Kyungsoo packed his things putting all his clothes in a black leather bag. He stuffed inside all the broken dreams and memories, together with the hope to keep them straight. 

"Are you ready?" Chanyeol entered, carrying his luggage inside Kyungsoo's room. 

"Yup. Let's go." He wasn't ready. He wanted to see Jongin for one last time but he remembered what happened the night he begged. He convinced himself that this would be the greatest choices Chanyeol made for him.

He closed his eyes as the plane descended into the clouds. Leaving all the memories he had with Jongin and by bringing him, his wounded heart was ready to fix up. Los Angeles and Chanyeol would be the tools and bridge to forget Jongin. He assured himself that he was ready to forget Jongin.  
Chanyeol was holding his hands, as the heat of it was giving him the warmth he needed. 

The clouds outside were blue. His heart inside was dark. He studied the peacefulness of the sky. "I wish I could have that peace."

 

He put his head on Chanyeol's shoulder. "Yeol, thank you."  
Chanyeol didn't answer him, but he felt Chanyeol's hands ruffling his hair and tye other hand sqeeuzing his palm. "You are always welcome, Soo."

 

They enveloped themselves with a hug. Kyungsoo felt so lucky to have Chanyeol. Lucky is an understatement to have Chanyeol as a bestfriend. They have been best of friends since they were young and when Kyungsoo's parents died Chanyeol promised that he would take care of Kyungsoo.  
Kyungsoo tightened his hug as he wanted to let Chanyeol feel how thankful he was.  
"Soo, let go of me. I can't breathe," Kyungsoo loosened the hug and had proper conversation. The burden he had been carrying weights a little. 

 

-

 

Kyungsoo woke up with a small tap in his shoulder. The airplane had landed, as there were only few left inside.  
"We're here," Chanyeol informed him. "Stay here. I'll get our things."  
Kyungsoo nodded and followed Chanyeol. Chanyeol carried Kyungsoo's bag and his luggage on his right hand.  
"You carry mine. That one is much lighter," he handed his luggage to Kyungsoo. 

"It's okay, Yeol. I can handle that one."

"No, Soo. You look so tired," Chanyeol refused to exchange luggage with him. He knew Chanyeol could carry all that bag. Chanyeol's body had gotten big since he started hitting the gym but the thing he did for was just too much.  
"What's in your bag, Soo? It seems like you put all your burden and the whole world inside,'' Chanyeol cracked a joke and he just realized it was not a good one.

Kyungsoo stopped for a moment.

"Yes. That was my burden inside. Broken dreams and promises. And you know what makes it more heavy? Myself! I put there inside and get them straight here. So give me that."

"No. If this is your burden then I am responsible for helping you carry and making it easy for you."

Tears were forming in Kyungsoo's eyes.  
"No. Hold that tears. There are people behind us."

They blocked the way creating a dramatic scene. Everyone in the plane got irritated, as Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were blocking the way. 

"Let's get going. Faster."

**

"Wow. This place is so nice."  
Kyungsoo roamed around checking the rooms and every corner of it. "It looks vintage but I love it."

"Sorry, Soo. This is the only place I can afford," Chanyeol said while putting down their bags. He leaned towards Kyungsoo. "I hope you like it."

"I really like this place. Don't be sorry, Yeol. Let's pack out," Kyungsoo started getting his stuff out but Chanyeol stopped him.  
"Before that you have something to do important," Chanyeol pulled him out of the house. Kyungsoo was wondering where they were heading. He tried to ask Chanyeol but he didn't reply so he just received a playful smile as an answer.

 

"What are we doing here?" Kyungsoo pointed the main building of LUS, a famous clothing line in the whole continent. "That's where you are going to work."

 

"What? But-." Kyungsoo had no idea Chanyeol was blabbering about. 

"No buts. They were waiting for you. I stole your portfolio and sent it to them. My friend, Baekhyun, the son of the owner who also happened to be the VP of the company, would like you to give you a shot. I already called them that you are coming today for an interview."

 

"What?" Kyungsoo's eyes widened. "No, I can't accept this one. Stop helping let me stand in my own feet."

"I won't take no as an answer. You must grab this oppurtunity. This is one of a lifetime, Soo," Chanyeol was so adamant of helping Kyungsoo. If this thing would be the way to his happiness he would do anything for him.

"Yeol!" A liquid was forming on Kyungsoo's eyes. "But this is too much," Kyungsoo faced Chanyeol with a misty eyed.  
"I think--"

"Stop it. This is your biggest dream, Soo. I know you badly wanted to work at Lus since we graduated and now it's here," Chanyeol's voice cracked. He was also on the verge of crying. He coudn't be more happier seeing Kyungsoo with a bright smile hidden started sprouting on his face.  
"Go!" Chanyeol pushed him inside the building to avoid more dramas.

The moment he stepped on inside the building and the sweet aroma of his lost dream as a fashion designer lingered around his nose. He wandered his eyes around. Every walls and buildings were calling his name.  
Kyungsoo gave Chanyeol an assuring smile. "I will never disappoint you, Yeol. I love you."

Finally, he was now chasing his dreams. This was the start of setting everything straight. Maybe, a big part of his life still clung on to Jongin's promises but he could feel himself slowly drifting away from it. 

Chanyeol was right. Everything got right when he was not with Jongin and with Chanyeol everything was perfect.

 

Chanyeol rode back to their place with a big smile plastered on his lips. His heart was beating as fast as it could. He couldn't believe Kyungsoo bid "I love you" to him. He tittered while typing a message. "Good luck, Soo. I love you too."

 

\--  
The banging sound of his alarm clock woke Kyungsoo up. The clock struck at 7:00 am. He immediately stood up to organize his portfolio and designs he would be presenting today. Two empty cups and scattered crumbs were all over on the study table. He must have pulled an all night of finishing his presentation last night for today. Finishing and reviewing his designs that were sent to him had been his daily routines since he got the job at Lus. Chanyeol accompanied him every night even he had told the latter several times to sleep early and take a rest, but according to Yeol, that was the only time where they could be together talking about random things after a tiring day. Kyungsoo could manage entertaining Chanyeol's questions and stories and doing his work-related stuff. Coffee, cookies and some melancholy music helped them to get through the night. Every night, they would start at 9 pm and would end up at 2 am. 

 

His phone rang three times and it was a message coming from his boss.  
The message reads, "Pick up the newly printed magazines at the factory and be there at the office by 7:30."  
His bones reawakened as he read the first message. "Oh my God! I'm dead," Kyungsoo freaked out. His boss was quite strict when it comes to time. 

With his towel hanging in his shoulder he sprinted towards the bathroom. A minute later, he came out just exactly the same as he entered. He bothered not to take shower anymore as it would just consume a lot of time and besides he had taken a shower last night and he hadn't smell yet.  
His phone chimed again while rummaging inside his closet. He opened it and thankfully, it was not from his boss. Opening it was really not a good move. In the broad daylight, Kyungsoo was struck by a lightning straight to his heart.

An indescribable pain started hitting his chest as he continued reading the message. He was a masochist for analyzing and rereading all the detailed written in there.  
The message reads, "You are invited to Krystal and Jongin's wedding."

Kyungsoo fell down on the floor and cried. Tears spilled freely down on his cheeks. He gasped for air and breathed hastily.  
For the second time, he opened the message again. He must have read the message wrong, but there was no magic happened. It was all exactly the same.

 

"Kyungsoo, are you done? I can drop you off at work," Chanyeol went inside his room without knowing what just happened. He found Kyungsoo weeping beside the closet.  
Chanyeol panicked, so he immediately ran to Kyungsoo and asked what happened but he received no answer.  
"Kyungsoo, tell me. What happened?"

Kyungsoo looked at him while shredding tears. "Jongin is getting married." As he said those words his throat tightened. His eyes were covered with a visible layer of pain and a liquid caused by his evaporating sorrow and grief.

A great sob escaped him. Chanyeol enveloped him with a hug. He wanted to let Kyungsoo feel that he had someone to lean with and a shoulder to cry on. He sobbed into Chanyeol's chest while clutching tightly at man's shirt. He tapped Kyungsoo's back gently and put his chin on the latter's head allowing him to smell its scent. They stayed for almost ten minutes. Kyungsoo did nothing but cried. Chanyeol didn't say any word, but he just gave him the warmth of his hug that was probably needed by Kyungsoo. His shirt was partly wet because of Kyungsoo's tears but it did not matter to him. Sympathy was written all over his face and a blazing angerness towards Jongin.

The weeping sounds of Kyungsoo's pain enveloped every corner of the room. The tune of his pain could be turning into a music, that is filled with pain and sorrow.  
Chanyeol picked up the phone Kyungsoo had dropped and read the message. He shook his head with disappointment. Another level of resentment started to rise up to his head with a clenching hand and gritted teeth. What Jongin did to Kyungsoo was unbearable. He must have really like torturing Kyungsoo and sending a wedding invitation to someone you dumped like a trash was a really unbeffiting. If this is kind of settlement or what, then he should not have sent that invitation and let Kyungsoo live in peace. Chanyeol huffed out of frustration.

"Yeol, it could not have been painful if I had stopped from loving him before," Kyungsoo said while sobbing. An endless droplets of pearled shape tears constantly dropping down his cheeks. "I badly needed to erase this feeling and him."  
Tears were a strong evidence to justify his pain. His eyes had gotten red as it mirrored the blood that symbolized the pain and grief.  
"Yeol, kiss me please. I just want to forget this pain temporarily. I know, only you could take this pain away," Kyungsoo begged.  
"No! Kyungsoo, go to bed and take a rest," Chanyeol refused.  
Chanyeol shook his head. He would love to but he couldn't. It would be taking advantage of the situation if he allowed Kyungsoo himself to kiss him.  
"Yeol, please," Kyungsoo pleaded and slowly pressed his face against Chanyeol's. A sweet shrudder was sent down to his spine. He wanted to say no but his body said otherwise. An indescribable energy struck his body making his body froze for a moment. The soft thing pressed against his lips started moving making it's way to enter his mouth. His heat flamed up making and a blazing desire was released as he started responding to the kiss. Chanyeol closed his eyes savouring the sweetness produced by thier kisses.  
The tension between them burned up like a flame. Chanyeol found Kyungsoo on top of him and his hands caressing Kyungsoo's hips. They were both undressed. He could vaguely remember how did they end up with that situation. They were now sharing the same heat, having the same desire, and radiating the same level of heat.  
The kiss was getting deeper, as his lips entangled together inside Kyungsoo's lips. "Jongin, ugh!" Kyungsoo hissed under his breath and continued drowning himself with Chanyeol's kisses.  
Chanyeol heard what Kyungsoo said so he paused for a moment and slowly pushed Kyungsoo off his body. "I'm sorry, Yeol."  
They stopped and Kyungsoo started sobbing. "I tried but I can't." 

"Looking at your situation, I can tell that you are not trying to try to forget him. Please don't waste my effort," Chanyeol stood up and picked up his clothes scattered in the floor. "Just act like this didn't happen. You can't just kiss me like that thinking I am Jongin. I am Chanyeol."  
He said while dressing himself pertaining to what just happened. He was not happy about the kiss especially when Kyungsoo mentioned his ex lover's name. 

"I'm sorry, Yeol!" Kyungsoo bowed down his head. "But didn't you like it? I know you like me?"

Chanyeol was about to leave the room when he heard the question that made him stop. "Yes, I like you!"  
He would not deny his feelings. One of the reasons why he badly wanted Kyungsoo to forget Jongin was because he loved Kyungsoo. He was hoping when the situation became clear that a chance of creating new memory with Kyungsoo would lead to something deeper.

Kyungsoo was aware of that. He knew that there were reasons behind why Chanyeol kept on helping him and dragged him all the way to Los Angeles. But looking at the clearer side, it was all for his own good and Chanyeol might get a lot of benefit from it. When the coast gets clear it was time to sail.

"I don't like you, Soo. I love you but I stopped myself because I don't want you to think that I am taking advantage of the situation," Chanyeol said still holding the door knob preparing himself to exit. A sudden confession was made.

"I never think of that, Yeol. What happened was an act of desperation to forget Jongin. Maybe your kiss or you could take away the pain."

 

"But you never see me as me. Behind those kisses you saw me as Jongin."  
There was a pair of hand caressing his back, giving him a little of electric shock all over his body. "I will get better in time, Yeol. I promise you."  
Kyungsoo put his head on Chanyeol's shoulder and hands on his body. "When I'm okay I will let you have a revenge to Jongin."

Chanyeol removed Kyungsoo's hand on on his body and dragged him to the bed. They were looking at each other's eyes. Kyungsoo's eyes were dark as clouds mirroring his pain and sorrow.  
"Listen, Soo, I may hate Jongin to death for what he did to you but you should never hate him. Hate the feelings, hate the pain! Maybe! But never the person because it will linger forever in your heart. It will never go away. As long as you keep on feeding the hate, it will grow and the more it is hard to forget. If you want to forget, you cannot hate. Leave everything behind."

Chanyeol showered those words on Kyungsoo's mind. "Hate is the chain that will keep you from moving. It is a burden that will keep you from adding your weight everytime you want to forget," he continued.

 

"Thank you, Yeol," Kyungsoo' mouth twitched. With Chanyeol's powerful words it made him pondered. Acceptance and forgiveness would help him a lot. He felt a little better upon hearing those sentiments released by Chanyeol. It gave him a sudden comfort and warmth to his heart.  
"You must do it, Soo," Chanyeol said firmly holding Kyungsoo's hands trying not to break the stares between them. The room was filled with their breaths and racing heartbeats. They were laying down together watching the clock struck to twelve in the afternoon.  
Kyungsoo was sprawling at Chanyeol's legs, while receiving the gently petting of him. His heart and mind put on at ease on moment.  
Chanyeol was singing a song in incoherent mess of words. The tune of his feelings changed, the timber was mellow and the lyrics were at peace. A radiating smile sprouted on his face. Chanyeol continued on humming, the room was rapidly covered with thier sounds.  
"Yeol, can I kiss you?"  
The humming stopped. "No. I do not trust your words. I will only allow you if you have completely forgotten him," Chanyeol paused, studying Kyungsoo's face especially his lips. "I changed my mind. Kiss me and we will deal with your problem later."

Chanyeol felt something different. Those eyes of Kyungsoo mirrored of what he felt, shining a less visible glitter of undefined happiness. Some parts of it were still covered with grief but the newly added shine started spreading its light.

"Chanyeol!" Kyungsoo moaned his name as they started undressing themselves.  
As Kyungsoo and Chanyeol lay down on their beds, they started to kiss their lips, their neck, their chest, and their shoulders. They caressed for a long time and rubbed throughout their whole bodies as they felt a heat coming through their friction, before they slept, hugging with each other.


End file.
